[note] Where the Boys Are: A 1L's Ruminations on the Ann Arbor Scene

Ok, so I have a confession to make. Before coming here, my biggest fear was that the "scene" would be lame, or, more precisely, that the scene just wouldn't be. When I was younger, like many other boys my age, I cast a vote with my feet and left the bible-thumping South. Upon immigrating to the country's big gay candy store (a.k.a. New York City), I thought I'd finally found the pot o' gold at the end of the rainbow. I saw no reason to leave. (Well, except for a year-long stint in Germany, but, hey, I like blonds.) To be perfectly frank, the idea of moving to a small city in the middle of the country, in a state into which I'd always presumed I would never set foot no less, was just plain scary.

Luckily, those fears were quickly quelled. The most important thing I've learned during my time here is that the A2 scene is somewhat nebulous; any bar in town, well, almost any bar, is something of a gay bar, as long as you're willing to keep your eyes open and know what to look for. Obviously, there's /aut/BAR, where I recently had the honor of not being served a drink due to my perceived level of intoxication, and then there's Necto, where recently, through a strange turn of events, I was able to find an apartment for next term. But apart from the "official" homo hangouts, there really is so much more. Yes, A2's dearth of flag-flying homo bars is not a sign of a lack of scene, but a sign of the inclusiveness of all its scenes. So while gay guides have only two listings for A2, don't be fooled; they're wrong. In the interest of correcting this error, I've taken it upon myself to create a better gay guide to our little oasis in the mitten state.

I've indicated the gayness of each establishment on a scale of 1 to 10, with "1" meaning, "least gay" and "10" meaning, "completely gay."

And now a disclaimer for the lesbians: I admit it. This list doesn't take any of your interests into account. You'll have to excuse my one-sidedness, but my percipient knowledge of local lesbian hangouts is limited to Stiletto's. My intended target audience, namely gay boys, is selfishly limited.

Starbuck's (the one on E. Liberty and S. State): 9 - What? There's no gay coffeehouse in Ann Arbor you say? Give me a break! It is right across the street from the Urban Outfitters...'nuff said.

Sweetwater's Cafe (the one on Washington): 6 - Consistently voted A2's best coffeehouse, I think it should also win the award for A2's most ambiguously gay coffeehouse. There's always tension in the air here.

Ambrosia's Cafe: 5 - This place draws an alternative crowd, ranging from heroin chic, to hippie, to hipster. Oh, and their coffee's cheap, too! But if you want to work for the government, just keep that to yourself while here.


Eateries:

NYPD Pizza (the one on E. William): 1 or 10 - On Friday nights, or more precisely Saturday mornings, from about 1:00 a.m. onward, this place is 99.99% gay. Just around the corner from Necto, NYPD turns into a last-call sidewalk sale shortly before 3:00 a.m. (You've been warned.) I personally have a grudge against the size of their slices, but, still, they're the best in town.

Fleetwood Diner: 3 - As downtown A2's only 24-hour diner, don't be surprised by the eclectic mix here. Their hippie hash seems to attract members of the local neo-hippie population, but I can only describe the crowd here as "mixed."

Bars:

Bab's Underground: 8 - Certainly one of the swankier locales, think dry martinis, Bab's always has a mixed crowd. The bouncer seems to have a habit of trying to give the place a V.I.P. veneer by making people wait in line when the place is only half-full, but once inside, there's no pretension. Oh, did I mention they have a photo booth?

8-Ball: 7 - I've never quite been able to place this bar, other than to say it's a dive and that a perpetual odeur of cat urine seems to permeate the air. Reliable sources inform me that there are some members of the local gay community who have been consistently successful at meeting others of similar persuasions here. And if you want to meet members of the indie crowd, look no further. Their new internet jukebox is pretty lame, though. I'm convinced its designers programmed it to play Journey non-stop as a means of inducing patrons to pay $1 to hear something tolerable. Oh, and just remember to stay out of the way of the pool players; they're serious here.

Arbor Brewing Company: 6 - I used to think the rainbow sticker on ABC's door was just for show, but then I actually went and ate there. It's rumored to be one of A2's best "date restaurants," and this seems to apply to everyone! But before you try to impress anyone here, take this advice from someone who learned it the hard way: their micro-brewed beers have varying levels of alcohol, some approaching eleven percent.

Leopold's: 4 - With its Biergarten-style layout, visibility extends for miles in this place. It seems to be a popular first or second stop on the way to bigger and better things on Fridays and Saturdays. Oh, and they have board games.

Ashley's: 3.5 - At least half of the waitstaff seems to be gay, so if you're looking for "attitude" in a predominately straight bar, just go here. Still, the gayness doesn't stop at the waitstaff; look around and you'll see what I mean. Oh, and if you want to act really butch, order their bacon and cheddar fries. I'm sure there's enough grease in them to make a few gallons of biodiesel, but they're just too good to let them go to waste like that.


So there you have it. A2 is full of places to find a mate. I'm sick of people saying, "the good ones are all taken." Think about it, with literally many thousands of students roaming about, is it even possible that they're all taken? No.

Someone I don't know told me there's a rumor that "there is a small army of gay law students here." We've got street cred, so get out there and use it!